Redefining Self-Care In Order to Lead a More Productive, Balanced, and Aligned Life

When thinking of self-care, the majority of us have a specific imagine in mind. It looks something like:

• Bubble baths
• Journaling
• Massages

However, this narrow image of self-care as pampering is limiting. While doing all of these things are absolutely a form of self-care, it’s only one side of the coin; the gentle-love side. And what I’ve had to learn is that a lot of self-care is also hard work and discipline; the tough-love side.

Examples of self-care that have taken me a long time to implement simply because they didn’t seem to fit the self-care bill are:

• Tidying my house every night (even when exhausted) to ensure a more peaceful morning
• Forcing myself to prioritize sleep in order to make myself happier and life at large easier
• Making sure my son always looks sharp (even when, again, exhausted) to ward off mom-guilt

When we look at self-care from a long-term POV, life becomes more enjoyable, even in the short-term

By looking at my self-care solely from a short-term POV, I wound up creating issues for myself in both the near and distant future:

When I was tired, I gave myself permission to rest. But my body grew weaker.

When socially anxious, I gave myself permission to hide. But my guard grew thicker.

When overwhelmed, I gave myself permission to do less. But my to-do lists grew longer.

My version of self-care morphed into self-sabotage. I had to make a change.

The key was identifying boundaries vs discomforts. And learning the difference.

A boundary is just that; a limit. A hard line between “yes” and “no.” Discomfort, on the other hand, is a necessary growing pain.

Before I learned to differentiate the two, I mistook every discomfort as a cue to quit. Once I could see how pushing through discomfort could bring me closer to my long-term goals, it became clear how very different the two are.

And how important it is to remain aware of our boundaries while pushing past the point of comfort for true, authentic self-care.

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